Powerful negotiation happens when two or more people have discussions in a mutually respectful manner. Once pride, ego or power struggles become involved, feelings get hurt, conflict arises and important discussions are avoided.

I have a comprehensive framework that will help you address this conflict.

1)Self awareness. Be clear about the outcome you want. Be honest with yourself about your intentions. What are you willing to do to resolve the conflict? Can you give up the need to be “right”?

2) Listen and understand what the other person wants. Don’t interrupt or rush to your rebuttal. Ask questions to understand them more clearly. This includes understanding what you have done to upset them.

3) Respect. Think and feel respect for yourself and for the other person. Be assertive, not aggressive.

4) Be humble in your opinion of yourself. Accept the limits of your understanding and perspective on an issue. Accept responsibility for your part in a conflict.

5) Validate. Let the other person know that you have heard and respect what they are saying.

6) What common goals do you share ?

7) What is the nature of the conflict? Is the conflict caused solely by difference of opinion? Is it caused by the way the content is delivered? Is this part of a larger pattern of conflict? Is it a direct conflict or is it an avoidance of discussing difficult topics?

8) Where can you be flexible to accommodate the needs, opinions, style or feelings of the other person? Where do you want them to accommodate and adjust for you?

9) Talk respectfully through one issue at a time. A second point is a second discussion.

10) Take time out when you reach an impasse and agree to return to the discussion later.

When you are unable to achieve a meaningful discussion through a conflict, it is time to call in a professional coach. I have 40 years of conflict resolution experience and can help facilitate your conversation through the sticking points so you return to a high level discussion of priorities. I will help you assess and modify your communication style and body language to work optimally for your objectives. You will learn how to have difficult conversations that don’t turn into unproductive conflict.